The Invisibles
I've just coined a new phrase. Okay, it wasn't me. I really wish I could take credit for it, but I can't. The Lord put it on my heart as I walked the streets of New York City a few weeks ago. As I walked around New York, I had this strange feeling that no one ever saw me. I felt invisible. It's not hard to think why. There are over 8 million people living there! Compounded by the fact that I was there alone, I began to feel pretty small and insignificant.
So, what is the word? It's "Invisibles".
Just by reading the word, invisibles, you would think that you would understand the definition: unseen.
However, it goes so much deeper than just being unseen. As I stood in church Sunday morning, I had this overwhelming desire to blend myself into the background. I knew no one, and I was very unsure of why I had come all the way across the country to be in that service. I was in an unknown place with unknown people and standing during the entire service, which is completely new to me. And it felt awful (being in the unknown, not standing in the service). All I wanted was to hide in the background, making sure that no one saw me, and declining any advance of friendship made to me. When I realized what I was doing, I changed my behavior. That is what the Lord has done for me. He brought me away from a life of hiding in the background - of making myself invisible.
That's right. I used to be an Invisible. I speak with the voice of experience. Invisibles are the people that not only you don't see, but they won't let you see them. Whatever hurt they are hiding will cause them to blend in and remain unseen because life without that pain is unimaginable to them.
How can you spot an invisible? Because they are everywhere you look - you just haven't seen them. They are in your office, your church, possibly even your house. You have to know where to look and what to look for.
Characteristics of an Invisible
1) They do not want to attract attention. In a crowd, they will stand in the back. Even in a large crowd, they will be in the back because it is just more comfortable to them than standing in the midst of a crowd of people. It isn't that they don't want to be noticed, they just don't want to be the center of attention.
2) They will not talk to you because they expect that you will not talk to them. Really, it's a rejection issue, but you have to understand that they really WANT you to talk to them. They just won't make the first move. It will be hard for them to talk at first, but they will warm up (it could take a while).
3) Deflects any offer of help or kindness. It isn't because they don't want help, but rather they think that you are insincere in your offer - that you are just being polite, but you don't want to do it. Also, there is a self preservation that goes along with this characteristic. They have helped themselves for so long, they can keep on helping themselves if they have to.
How to reach an Invisible:
1) All you have to do is make them feel welcome, but don't overwhelm them by putting them in the spotlight. Strange to say, it will make them resent you just a little bit. Don't forget you're dealing with a person that is working to keep a hurt hidden. They don't want to be thrust into a microscope.
2) Be consistent. Talk to them, and keep talking to them. Prove them wrong. They are worth talking to; they are worth all the love that you can give to them.
3) Keep offering love and support. Until the Lord does His ultimate work (or they allow Him to), you will keep running into the self sufficiency that they pride themselves on.
4) Love, love, love - kindness, kindness, kindness! And be genuine about it. When you say that you will do something, DO IT. Don't give them a reason to push you away (yes, we all know that no one is perfect, but admit that you forgot and do it).
5) Never forget that even when they are pushing you away, they really want you to push through the wall that they are putting up. Some don't even realize that they are doing it, so prayer is a must when working with an Invisible.
Transitioning from a lifestyle of Invisiblism (another phrase coined) is not easy for you or for them. Habits sometimes die hard, but if you keep your heart open (and prayerful), the Lord will always direct you on how you should act. He is just that good - always reminding you gently that you and they are loved!
Look for an Invisible this week.....
Micale
"For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and INVISIBLE, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him." Colossians 1:16 (NKJV)
So, what is the word? It's "Invisibles".
Just by reading the word, invisibles, you would think that you would understand the definition: unseen.
However, it goes so much deeper than just being unseen. As I stood in church Sunday morning, I had this overwhelming desire to blend myself into the background. I knew no one, and I was very unsure of why I had come all the way across the country to be in that service. I was in an unknown place with unknown people and standing during the entire service, which is completely new to me. And it felt awful (being in the unknown, not standing in the service). All I wanted was to hide in the background, making sure that no one saw me, and declining any advance of friendship made to me. When I realized what I was doing, I changed my behavior. That is what the Lord has done for me. He brought me away from a life of hiding in the background - of making myself invisible.
That's right. I used to be an Invisible. I speak with the voice of experience. Invisibles are the people that not only you don't see, but they won't let you see them. Whatever hurt they are hiding will cause them to blend in and remain unseen because life without that pain is unimaginable to them.
How can you spot an invisible? Because they are everywhere you look - you just haven't seen them. They are in your office, your church, possibly even your house. You have to know where to look and what to look for.
Characteristics of an Invisible
1) They do not want to attract attention. In a crowd, they will stand in the back. Even in a large crowd, they will be in the back because it is just more comfortable to them than standing in the midst of a crowd of people. It isn't that they don't want to be noticed, they just don't want to be the center of attention.
2) They will not talk to you because they expect that you will not talk to them. Really, it's a rejection issue, but you have to understand that they really WANT you to talk to them. They just won't make the first move. It will be hard for them to talk at first, but they will warm up (it could take a while).
3) Deflects any offer of help or kindness. It isn't because they don't want help, but rather they think that you are insincere in your offer - that you are just being polite, but you don't want to do it. Also, there is a self preservation that goes along with this characteristic. They have helped themselves for so long, they can keep on helping themselves if they have to.
How to reach an Invisible:
1) All you have to do is make them feel welcome, but don't overwhelm them by putting them in the spotlight. Strange to say, it will make them resent you just a little bit. Don't forget you're dealing with a person that is working to keep a hurt hidden. They don't want to be thrust into a microscope.
2) Be consistent. Talk to them, and keep talking to them. Prove them wrong. They are worth talking to; they are worth all the love that you can give to them.
3) Keep offering love and support. Until the Lord does His ultimate work (or they allow Him to), you will keep running into the self sufficiency that they pride themselves on.
4) Love, love, love - kindness, kindness, kindness! And be genuine about it. When you say that you will do something, DO IT. Don't give them a reason to push you away (yes, we all know that no one is perfect, but admit that you forgot and do it).
5) Never forget that even when they are pushing you away, they really want you to push through the wall that they are putting up. Some don't even realize that they are doing it, so prayer is a must when working with an Invisible.
Transitioning from a lifestyle of Invisiblism (another phrase coined) is not easy for you or for them. Habits sometimes die hard, but if you keep your heart open (and prayerful), the Lord will always direct you on how you should act. He is just that good - always reminding you gently that you and they are loved!
Look for an Invisible this week.....
Micale
"For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and INVISIBLE, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him." Colossians 1:16 (NKJV)
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